In the face of change

It is just one of those days.

I sort of want to escape. But I won't.
I will go do something that will distract me, but it won't be until I start dreaming that I really face it. So maybe I am escaping to my dreams.

I don't know.

The day started off fine. A boss's birthday and there was free food, which was nice, since I am currently broke off my ass. But the day only got worse.

I just had a horrible performance at work. I got overwhelmed, frustrated and didn't do as well as I know I can. At lunch, I found out Robert Jordan, who is an amazing writer, died recently. After work, I found out that my friend Anne couldn't visit me because she got into trouble. And as soon as I get home, I find out an old family friend had finally fallen to her cancer and died Friday.

R.I.P. Jan Kannrey. 7/18/08.

So I went outside, to try and get my mind off of the day, when I saw a beetle, back on the ground and squirming desperately.

"Why is everything dying?" I said aloud to no one in particular.

I sighed.

"Not everything is dying." I corrected.

I stared at the beetle for a bit, watching as it squirmed around and contemplated what I should do. Normally, I think I would crush it, but I didn't have it in me today. I grabbed a small tool and flipped the beetle over onto it's feet. Only to find out that one of it's front legs was broken.

And all I could think to myself was "All I can do is put you back on your feet."

I'm not totally sure what the point of the blog was. Maybe it's just a shitty day. Maybe I am trying to find more meaning to connect a series of seemingly unrelated events.

Or maybe it's just a shitty day.